And there it was. The answer to my question about whether I could work for Jesus every day of my life. Here was the help I required to be strong and persevere; the gift to help me with everything that I needed to do to follow Jesus. When I had finished Isaac’s story I stood up and spread my arms wide above my head. Praising God I asked that he send the Holy Spirit on me so that I could be faithful, courageous and wise. I did not feel any earth-shattering response, but as the years passed and I worked with people in the hospital, studied for my exams, met people at social events, it was as if there was a different dimension to my life.
My questions have not ended. They go on and on. But now I know who to ask for the answers – and God has never failed me. Sometimes the response does not come at once and I have to wait. Sometimes he answers no and closes a door. But there are times when he answers yes and flings the door wide open so that I can go through it to the next stage of the journey.
There was one more note from Benjamin at the end of Isaac’s story.
‘I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.’
The pages blurred as my eyes filled with tears. These words, which I later discovered were from Paul’s second letter to Timothy, were Ben’s farewell to me. I knew there was still part of his original letter to read, but I understood that these words were the last he had written to me. The tears overflowed and streamed down my face – but they were tears of sadness mixed with tears of joy. The sadness was for myself for the loss of a man with whom I would have loved to spend more time; the joy was that he had gone home, to his Saviour, Yeshua, Messiah.